Youtube and Me
Mar. 2nd, 2026 10:38 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
witchpoetdreamerI spend most of my screen time in general on Youtube. If anything, I'd say it's probably the last "unhealthy" space online I want to let go of. Since circa 2014, I've weaned myself of most social medias. It started with Facebook (that one was the easiest to jump out of, why the fuck would I stay somewhere where people thought they could still bully me like they did in high school?). Then, Instagram was the next to go (I've returned briefly there while at my last work place because everyone was on it and it was easier to message people through it. I've since deleted it again). I've never been on Tiktok so that one wasn't a problem at all. Then, there is Tumblr. I did delete it around the same time I deleted Facebook (after spending 8 hours straight on it, which was way too much for me), but I came back to it during Uni when some of my friends re-introduced me to it. This time, it stuck pretty well, especially since I don't spend all my time on it (nowadays it's more or less 5 minutes a day, although most often 15 minutes every 2-3 days). And, well, it's also through Tumblr (and later Discord) that I met my wife, so it has a special place in my heart for that (although I wouldn't necessarily feel heartbroken if I did lose it through Internet overlords shenanigans, the memory of it is enough and almost everything on it is reblogs rather than my own stuff, so).
My main reasons for letting go of social medias the way I've been doing is, well, partly because it's behavioral addiction, and partly because it made me feel like shit most of the time. I think the hardest part about that kind of addiction is that most everything we do nowadays is online. I have looked into getting a dumb phone, completely cutting my internet usage in general, but there are spaces online that feel good to be in, there are advantages to the smartphone that I currently own (and also, I'm not looking to change my phone as part of a consumption race of who can *show* how offline they are, I've seen it happen before with minimalism, no thanks.) My smartphone allows me to do the phone calls and texting I need, but also take pictures, listen to the music I like (through an app called Pulsar, I put cds I rip from the library on it rather than using Spotify or other subscription), and I got a good map too when I need to drive places. Sure, there are dumb phones out there who do all that, but again, why would I replace a perfectly adequate phone with something else when I know how to set it up to become the dumb phone I'm interested in to begin with? (grey scale + Olauncher helped a lot at first too! I don't use them anymore because I just forget my phone most of the time (and it confused my wife when she needed to use my phone sometimes) so the training wheels are gone).
But ya, Youtube. I say it's the last "unhealthy" space online for me because I'm on there *way too often* still. Granted, since I'm currently a home maker, and most of what I watch I actually listen to while doing chores, some of that time isn't too bad. What I do take offense with though is how I still go to Youtube first thing in the morning and last thing in the evening, and when my current subscriptions haven't shared anything new, I'm looking for other channels to follow just so I can fill my days with noise one way or another. I *am* keeping on top of purging whoever makes me feel unhappy in any way, shape or form, but what I want to work on is to allow myself to enjoy the quiet again, both audio and visual. I'm not saying I don't want to use Youtube ever again, that's not my goal at all. I do think there are good things shared on Youtube that I would miss, like tutorials and some really good, documentary-like deep dives into topics I'm interested in. But I do want my usage to be mindful. Keep my entertainment watch for specific days of the week or time of the day, and put an effort in doing things without background noise at all.
For anyone struggling with any form of social media addiction (or internet addiction), you are always welcome to come to me to talk about it. I was lucky enough to notice my own tendencies way before social medias became what they are today, but even then, it took me several years (wow, 12 years... I never did the math before, that's a long ass time), several times going back but always for a shorter time than before, always learning to be better at it/let it go for good. That kind of addiction is most likely one of the hardest to let go of, along with shopping addiction or other type of addictions where the messaging in favor of it is just everywhere, reminding you that it exists and is so easy to have access to, and you're the weird one for refusing to partake.
If I have any advice for anyone struggling right now, here's what I would say:
1 - First of everything: Focus on one (1) social media to curb first. 2 at most if you feel you can do it, but 1 major one to begin with. It's easier if it's a social media where you don't interact with people you know much (if you use it only to scroll/reblog/like without interactions at all, that is even easier to do).
2 - Pay close attention to how you feel whenever you're using the app you're on. If you leave the app feeling no amount of joy at all, yeet it. Talk to the people you enjoy talking to and let them know you're leaving the app and ask them where you could talk to them elsewhere. Some people don't use any other app sometimes, but they certainly use an email. Ask them if you can contact them through it. And if they are not open to that method, well, maybe it's time to accept the end of your contact with them. Some people are just meant to be in our lives temporarily, and that's okay. Take the joy you had from having known them rather than the sorrow of parting (and, just between you and me, you may find out that whatever joy they brought you was actually just their fan stuff that you can find on AO3 or something, so like. It's really just the media you like. Watch it again. You'll be fine.)
3 - Get all the training wheels that will be helpful to you. That means trying out many of them to figure out what works best for your specific case. Get a 0 data phone plan, turn off wi-fi on it, get a dumb phone if you're changing your phone anyway, get a minimalist launcher (Olauncher is free, Minimalist launcher is not), grey scale your phone, DELETE ALL THE APPS AND ONLY USE YOUR COMPUTER, etc. There are a lot of advice out there for people who want to get rid of their social media addiction, and it's important for everyone to try and see what works for them. There are no one size fits all technique to live without social media in a week or less. It *will* take time.
4 - Remember: you do not have to go all the way off grid for it to work. You are allowed to have one social media or two that you really enjoy (or however your online presence is). The important thing is that you don't spend all of your time there. Make online a place, not a distraction. Be mindful about your consumption.
5 - You're going to fail. You're going to relapse. It's going to happen. Take it as it goes, try again, fail better, and one day, you won't be failing anymore. It's gonna be okay. FOMO will happen, but not as much as you think it will.
6 - Remember that you are not doing this to be superior to others. You are doing this for your own personal happiness. You are not doing this so you can be your most productive person ever. You are doing this so you can learn what you actually want your life to be like. So you can chill and enjoy the feeling of the grass rather than just touch it, you know? Slow down and all.
7 - Oh and, if there are new social media out there everyone's talking about? Ya, don't make an account for it. Stay with whatever you have decided is making you the happiest in your online spaces. Everything else that is new and shiny? You don't need it. And if you realize one day that actually, ya, you would like to give it a try, sure, give it a try. By then, you'll have all the tools necessary to know if this isn't working for you at all and you'll be better equipped to leave. Because no social media is ever mandatory. And whoever's saying it is is trying to sell you something (or just sell you).
Oh! And one last thing: before you try to leave any social media that you actually like, try curating who you follow first. Look at each and every people/channels you are subscribe to, and if whatever they publish makes you feel neutral to bad, it has to go. Even if you actually like the personality of the people you follow. An example of this: I really like D'Angelo Wallace. He's an excellent commentary creator and he has a really soothing voice to go with. I used to follow him on Youtube (all of his channels), and I was always hoping for a come back when he would leave for a year or two. I was super happy to see him return lately, with a new look and new topics, but turns out, I've changed since the last time I watched him. I don't enjoy random discourse about people I don't know at all anymore. Whenever I would watch his videos, his personality and voice always made me happy to see/hear, but the topics? I would end all of his recent videos with a slow burning anger/anxiety because of it. Turns out, in my life right now, I *do not* have the capacity to care about bad people doing bad shit online that I've never even heard of before. There are much worse things happening in the world right now and it is all the capacity I have to be angry and anxious about, and even for this I tend to look at what's really close to me rather than far because what's close is scary enough on its own. So, even if D'Angelo is always keeping a light tone, mocking those horrible people for the stupid shit they do, it is not entertaining for me at all anymore. It does make me sad a little bit, because he is a good content creator, but at the end of the day, joy is more important, especially more so now. I need content that brings joy, and hope, rather than content that brings any form of negativity, even when said negativity is entirely deserved. All this to say: I have unsubscribed to D'Angelo Wallace. Once in a while, I just type him in the research bar to see if he did anything new that I would find interest in, but so far nothing have captured my attention, which is okay!
Another content creator I have unfollowed a year or two ago is Bernadette Banner. For her, it wasn't that her content wasn't bringing me joy per se, but that at one point, I started comparing myself too much to her. Mind you, I am *nowhere near* her level of sewing skills, but she was absolutely inspiring for both the sewing and the aesthetic of her life. At one point though, said inspiration becomes comparison, because I wasn't getting anywhere near, and it was getting to the point where I wouldn't even start a project because there was "no way I would be able to make it as good as her". And how sad is that? To prevent myself from doing things others inspire me to do, just because they would do it so much better so why even bother? Nowadays, the moment inspiration turns into comparison of my skills to theirs, I unfollow. I am a *beginner*. There is no reason why I would think of myself as someone as skilled as them when they've been at it for years, more often decades! I've gotten enough inspiration and know how from their tutorials and the videos they've produced before, it's okay if I don't get more! There's a moment in time where content needs to not be consumed anymore so I can create my own things. It's really important to recognize when that moment happens, so we don't just keep on scrolling and scrolling and never making the beautiful things we see others do.
All of this is a really long winded way of saying (to you, and to me): you're not alone, and you have the power to make yourself happy in whatever hellscape we are living now. Seize your power back! I believe in you!
My main reasons for letting go of social medias the way I've been doing is, well, partly because it's behavioral addiction, and partly because it made me feel like shit most of the time. I think the hardest part about that kind of addiction is that most everything we do nowadays is online. I have looked into getting a dumb phone, completely cutting my internet usage in general, but there are spaces online that feel good to be in, there are advantages to the smartphone that I currently own (and also, I'm not looking to change my phone as part of a consumption race of who can *show* how offline they are, I've seen it happen before with minimalism, no thanks.) My smartphone allows me to do the phone calls and texting I need, but also take pictures, listen to the music I like (through an app called Pulsar, I put cds I rip from the library on it rather than using Spotify or other subscription), and I got a good map too when I need to drive places. Sure, there are dumb phones out there who do all that, but again, why would I replace a perfectly adequate phone with something else when I know how to set it up to become the dumb phone I'm interested in to begin with? (grey scale + Olauncher helped a lot at first too! I don't use them anymore because I just forget my phone most of the time (and it confused my wife when she needed to use my phone sometimes) so the training wheels are gone).
But ya, Youtube. I say it's the last "unhealthy" space online for me because I'm on there *way too often* still. Granted, since I'm currently a home maker, and most of what I watch I actually listen to while doing chores, some of that time isn't too bad. What I do take offense with though is how I still go to Youtube first thing in the morning and last thing in the evening, and when my current subscriptions haven't shared anything new, I'm looking for other channels to follow just so I can fill my days with noise one way or another. I *am* keeping on top of purging whoever makes me feel unhappy in any way, shape or form, but what I want to work on is to allow myself to enjoy the quiet again, both audio and visual. I'm not saying I don't want to use Youtube ever again, that's not my goal at all. I do think there are good things shared on Youtube that I would miss, like tutorials and some really good, documentary-like deep dives into topics I'm interested in. But I do want my usage to be mindful. Keep my entertainment watch for specific days of the week or time of the day, and put an effort in doing things without background noise at all.
For anyone struggling with any form of social media addiction (or internet addiction), you are always welcome to come to me to talk about it. I was lucky enough to notice my own tendencies way before social medias became what they are today, but even then, it took me several years (wow, 12 years... I never did the math before, that's a long ass time), several times going back but always for a shorter time than before, always learning to be better at it/let it go for good. That kind of addiction is most likely one of the hardest to let go of, along with shopping addiction or other type of addictions where the messaging in favor of it is just everywhere, reminding you that it exists and is so easy to have access to, and you're the weird one for refusing to partake.
If I have any advice for anyone struggling right now, here's what I would say:
1 - First of everything: Focus on one (1) social media to curb first. 2 at most if you feel you can do it, but 1 major one to begin with. It's easier if it's a social media where you don't interact with people you know much (if you use it only to scroll/reblog/like without interactions at all, that is even easier to do).
2 - Pay close attention to how you feel whenever you're using the app you're on. If you leave the app feeling no amount of joy at all, yeet it. Talk to the people you enjoy talking to and let them know you're leaving the app and ask them where you could talk to them elsewhere. Some people don't use any other app sometimes, but they certainly use an email. Ask them if you can contact them through it. And if they are not open to that method, well, maybe it's time to accept the end of your contact with them. Some people are just meant to be in our lives temporarily, and that's okay. Take the joy you had from having known them rather than the sorrow of parting (and, just between you and me, you may find out that whatever joy they brought you was actually just their fan stuff that you can find on AO3 or something, so like. It's really just the media you like. Watch it again. You'll be fine.)
3 - Get all the training wheels that will be helpful to you. That means trying out many of them to figure out what works best for your specific case. Get a 0 data phone plan, turn off wi-fi on it, get a dumb phone if you're changing your phone anyway, get a minimalist launcher (Olauncher is free, Minimalist launcher is not), grey scale your phone, DELETE ALL THE APPS AND ONLY USE YOUR COMPUTER, etc. There are a lot of advice out there for people who want to get rid of their social media addiction, and it's important for everyone to try and see what works for them. There are no one size fits all technique to live without social media in a week or less. It *will* take time.
4 - Remember: you do not have to go all the way off grid for it to work. You are allowed to have one social media or two that you really enjoy (or however your online presence is). The important thing is that you don't spend all of your time there. Make online a place, not a distraction. Be mindful about your consumption.
5 - You're going to fail. You're going to relapse. It's going to happen. Take it as it goes, try again, fail better, and one day, you won't be failing anymore. It's gonna be okay. FOMO will happen, but not as much as you think it will.
6 - Remember that you are not doing this to be superior to others. You are doing this for your own personal happiness. You are not doing this so you can be your most productive person ever. You are doing this so you can learn what you actually want your life to be like. So you can chill and enjoy the feeling of the grass rather than just touch it, you know? Slow down and all.
7 - Oh and, if there are new social media out there everyone's talking about? Ya, don't make an account for it. Stay with whatever you have decided is making you the happiest in your online spaces. Everything else that is new and shiny? You don't need it. And if you realize one day that actually, ya, you would like to give it a try, sure, give it a try. By then, you'll have all the tools necessary to know if this isn't working for you at all and you'll be better equipped to leave. Because no social media is ever mandatory. And whoever's saying it is is trying to sell you something (or just sell you).
Oh! And one last thing: before you try to leave any social media that you actually like, try curating who you follow first. Look at each and every people/channels you are subscribe to, and if whatever they publish makes you feel neutral to bad, it has to go. Even if you actually like the personality of the people you follow. An example of this: I really like D'Angelo Wallace. He's an excellent commentary creator and he has a really soothing voice to go with. I used to follow him on Youtube (all of his channels), and I was always hoping for a come back when he would leave for a year or two. I was super happy to see him return lately, with a new look and new topics, but turns out, I've changed since the last time I watched him. I don't enjoy random discourse about people I don't know at all anymore. Whenever I would watch his videos, his personality and voice always made me happy to see/hear, but the topics? I would end all of his recent videos with a slow burning anger/anxiety because of it. Turns out, in my life right now, I *do not* have the capacity to care about bad people doing bad shit online that I've never even heard of before. There are much worse things happening in the world right now and it is all the capacity I have to be angry and anxious about, and even for this I tend to look at what's really close to me rather than far because what's close is scary enough on its own. So, even if D'Angelo is always keeping a light tone, mocking those horrible people for the stupid shit they do, it is not entertaining for me at all anymore. It does make me sad a little bit, because he is a good content creator, but at the end of the day, joy is more important, especially more so now. I need content that brings joy, and hope, rather than content that brings any form of negativity, even when said negativity is entirely deserved. All this to say: I have unsubscribed to D'Angelo Wallace. Once in a while, I just type him in the research bar to see if he did anything new that I would find interest in, but so far nothing have captured my attention, which is okay!
Another content creator I have unfollowed a year or two ago is Bernadette Banner. For her, it wasn't that her content wasn't bringing me joy per se, but that at one point, I started comparing myself too much to her. Mind you, I am *nowhere near* her level of sewing skills, but she was absolutely inspiring for both the sewing and the aesthetic of her life. At one point though, said inspiration becomes comparison, because I wasn't getting anywhere near, and it was getting to the point where I wouldn't even start a project because there was "no way I would be able to make it as good as her". And how sad is that? To prevent myself from doing things others inspire me to do, just because they would do it so much better so why even bother? Nowadays, the moment inspiration turns into comparison of my skills to theirs, I unfollow. I am a *beginner*. There is no reason why I would think of myself as someone as skilled as them when they've been at it for years, more often decades! I've gotten enough inspiration and know how from their tutorials and the videos they've produced before, it's okay if I don't get more! There's a moment in time where content needs to not be consumed anymore so I can create my own things. It's really important to recognize when that moment happens, so we don't just keep on scrolling and scrolling and never making the beautiful things we see others do.
All of this is a really long winded way of saying (to you, and to me): you're not alone, and you have the power to make yourself happy in whatever hellscape we are living now. Seize your power back! I believe in you!
Hi!
Date: 2026-03-02 09:07 pm (UTC)Also, a fellow D'Angelo Wallace enjoyer. I miss him a lot after his 1 year hiatus and I love the content in particular that he puts out. Maybe I just jive with people whose values are similar w/ mine in general haha
What I hate for my case in particular is that I have an online portfolio for my art and that means...partaking in social media, unfortunately lol. Apart from having to network, I also have to promote. I feel the consolation here is that I get motivated to do my art rather than doomscroll (The doing art part is easy, the doomscrolling is tricky lmao).
What's interesting with the keep using the computer thing is that because of my work and my hobbies, using my computer is probably 99% of my life. I rarely use my phone as a result (my addiction has rather been channeled into art-making with barely any rest). It actually kept me insulated from the actual reality that a lot of the newer generations now have no actual idea how to use a computer or a laptop because majority of their life is in their phone or their tablet. It's actually so crazy to know, and I found this out through a field testing of one our services at work. Which I find crazy because actual employment situations still use a computer, so...
Also, I hate that people in my country still like using Facebook. My family still likes using Facebook. They have this weird mentality that if you're not using any app within the Meta ecosystem and use other stuff they think you're doing something sketchy or something like that (Mostly applies to relationships, but it kinda proliferated to just people in general)
Re: Hi!
Date: 2026-03-02 09:52 pm (UTC)Oh no ewwww I hate when people are like that D: That being said, it's also a great filter when meeting people that are not using big social media, you know you've found your people most likely XD
I'm also most often on my computer than not nowadays (the phone/tablet thing is so real, what do you mean some kids out there are as helpless as boomers when it comes to navigating a computer 😠Shame!). I've been using some extensions on Firefox to help me with that, pretty much the same as I use on my phone as well, a good adblocker, and one called Social Focus that helps with limiting content on social media in general (I use it for Youtube (hide shorts and home section), and Reddit (I use Reddit for mainly when I'm looking up specific questions but I don't like having access to anything else around it like what's popular right now and all, more often than not it's bad political shit and I look at those on my own time, not when it's randomly presented to me). The extension also has options for Facebook, Instagram, other things, but I don't use them, although it might be interesting to you if you ever want to dive into that!)
If to be online helps you with your art, then by all means keep doing it! I think my main point (other than sharing my experience) is just to find ways to limit what makes us unhappy where we have to be (if we find we have to be there because of freelance work). Seriously, take a look at Social Focus if you use Firefox, and see if there is something you can do to make the whole being on social media for work more enjoyable for yourself with that! (It might work on Chrome but I'm not sure)
I also jive with him for that, but ya, I think it's the whole "I have no idea who these people even are" thing that I'm growing out of? Or people I don't care about in general XD I do enjoy his older content still, I sometimes play his Caroline Calloway video in the background once in a while XD
Do you feel like you've been addicted to social media in general or is it that you feel like you spend too much time in front of screen because work and your time off are both spent staring at one? 'Cause I do think there is a difference between both, especially if you feel like that because other people are telling you you should feel bad about being so much on screens, you know? There is this thing where people tell us to go touch grass, when what they really mean is they don't like seeing us enjoying our time online where they are miserable. As with all things, how you feel about yourself (how you *truly* feel, not how others tell you you should feel) is the most important here.
Re: Hi!
Date: 2026-03-03 12:27 am (UTC)If I were doing a different kind of trade it would be a whole different story. I don't particularly have an issue of constantly being on the screen because I have no choice to be literally in front of a screen for the most part, with or without social media.
Re: Hi!
Date: 2026-03-03 12:56 am (UTC)Re: Hi!
Date: 2026-03-05 04:46 am (UTC)Since I'm in the realm of fan art, I see stuff like fanweeks, AUs, and stuff like that. There are some AUs I dislike because I see way too much of it. Fanweeks I used to like, but I figured doing 7 artworks (1 prompt a day) is way too much effort lmao. Otherwise, I take time to analyze which type of art content/style/topic fans gravitate towards and those fans don't. I don't follow it all the time, I don't feel like I wanna create art solely to make other people happy haha.
Re: Hi!
Date: 2026-03-05 05:44 pm (UTC)7 artwork in 7 days is a lot for sure! And creating art for yourself first is always the way to go! I'm glad you're focused on making yourself happy!
Which AUs do you tend to gravitate towards?
Re: Hi!
Date: 2026-03-08 05:40 am (UTC)Re: Hi!
Date: 2026-03-08 06:57 am (UTC)Re: Hi!
Date: 2026-03-02 10:27 pm (UTC)Wonderful advice. I've notices myself mindlessly scrolling through things I don't enjoy and don't interact with just so I would distract myself from my thoughts. Unless I was with someone or actively doing something, I was immediately reaching for my phone. There are many things I do enjoy on the internet, but I often just ignored it and looked at content served to me that I wouldn't really remember afterwards. This is partly why I joined Dreamwidth and why I am trying to actually interact with people here. I don't really mind spending some time on my phone/computer If I am actually doing something that I enjoy, and seeing things I actually chose to see. I've noticed I've barley been using tiktok since I started this. And the main advantage of this site is that it has an end. I check the journals I like and I go and do something else. I read people talk about their hobbies and I go do something that I enjoy. I've got a long way to go, since I've been practically born with a phone in my hand. But I have to take some first steps.
Anyway, a great post!
Re: Hi!
Date: 2026-03-02 10:36 pm (UTC)I'm glad joining Dreamwidth has helped you deal with other social media better! And yes, having an end to what we consume definitely helps a lot. Very proud of you for taking your first step!
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Date: 2026-03-02 10:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-03-03 01:04 am (UTC)Thank you for reading, I'm glad you appreciated it!
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Date: 2026-03-04 03:36 am (UTC)If anything, pulling back with IG, Bsky, and Tumblr has made my YT usage even worse... so I'm not sure much has improved overall. At the end of the day, these sites are all about sounds and shapes and colors that engage our brains. The fact that nearly all of my work is done on my computer makes these things very difficult to resist. At the end of the day I guess I can live with "it could be worse." Because it definitely could. Maybe I need to start putting my phone on the other side of the room while I sleep...
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Date: 2026-03-04 04:56 am (UTC)(Also, for the phone out of the room when sleeping, I don't do that yet since it's my alarm clock, but I have an e-reader and it helps to fall asleep while reading. Sometimes I dick around and look at books I want to read next on the Overdrive (the library app of it), but that usually takes much less time than dicking around on my phone XD I'm not saying to get an e-reader just for that, but if you do have one already, it's useful to replace bad screen time with good screen time)