(no subject)

[witchpoetdreamer]

Dreamwidth is really changing the way that I interact with the internet in general. Because most of the website is about interactions with other blogs through comments (as opposed to likes/reblogs), I started responding the same on Tumblr, and it's been... refreshing to say the least. It really makes me see online spaces as a place to go again rather than something to entertain me. I'm taking a walk in the park, nodding hello to the other people I see there, even if at times I feel silly doing so (what if they're going to think I'm weird for doing so? -- I'm originally from the city, and usually we don't nod to each other unless we actually know the people coming our way, so when I moved to the suburb, where a lot of them just nod and wave hello when they cross you, that was some sort of a culture shock for me. I don't think people are weird for doing it, but I always walk away feeling a bit flabbergasted that someone noticed me enough to nod.).

And it's such a simple thing, really, nodding at each other, waving hello, noticing them. At times, it feels like it takes more effort to purposely look elsewhere, fix my gaze forward, showing I'm going somewhere and will not bother you with my stare. I feel stuck in between "I see you, so you must see me too, right? Please don't see me" and "I'm not seeing you, whatever you're doing right now is between you and yourself, I ain't no snitch".

Maybe to look up and nod is actually an act of trust. I see you, you see me AND whatever you're doing right now is yours, I ain't no snitch. It takes trust not to think "this person is judging me". It takes trust to think "even if this person is judging me, I won't be judging myself the same." It's a hard muscle to train, especially when you've been raised by people, by a society who can only say "what will the neighbours think?" The worst the neighbours can think is "wow, this person exists" and choose whether they like it or not. And what a sad life to live, to see existence and dislike it? No, to see existence and think "this person is my enemy." To hate them.

I'm guilty of this too. I can't like everybody. But I certainly like more people than I hate. And I've never hated anyone for a nod hello. It takes a very specific kind of betrayal of humanity for me to hate someone. A deeper knowledge of who they are than what I can glean from a stranger on the street.

It takes trust. It takes hope. Neither of which are natural once you've learnt too often how cruel people can be. But the world isn't cruel. The world isn't cruel. The world isn't cruel.

Anyway, here's Wonderwall.

Comments

[merrileemakes]

I'm glad you're enjoying Dreamwidth, I find it a really healing place too. There's lots of deep thought and connections, I think because of the lack of algorithm. All the links are organic.

[witchpoetdreamer]

Yes exactly! The lack of algorithm really makes online spaces so much better! It feels more like knowing people rather than knowing what people think other people want to see and I really appreciate that.

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>It really makes me see online spaces as a place to go again rather than something to entertain me. <<

Yay!

>> I'm taking a walk in the park, nodding hello to the other people I see there, <<

common_nature is great for that, or flaneurs for urban walks.

>>And it's such a simple thing, really, nodding at each other, waving hello, noticing them. <<

It's a effect of population density, or lack thereof. That applies to DW as much as to suburbs or smaller towns.

Re: Thoughts

[witchpoetdreamer]

I already follow common_nature! I haven't posted yet but I enjoy seeing the pictures on my reading page.

It's a effect of population density, or lack thereof.

Yes absolutely! It still feels strange, more in person than online though XD

[fabiadrake]

Yes, this resonates — I’ve been thinking about the difference between DW vs Tumblr, Twitter & Bluesky (& Substack to a lesser extent), and for me one of the significant differences is the lack of recycled content. That is, the inability to repost other people’s posts, and so when you go to somebody’s DW blog, you only encounter their voice and what they want to say, instead of popular text posts. I think this makes people feel self conscious at first (what do I have to say, who’s going to be interested, etc) but it’s a much more satisfying way to interact with people. I think of internet conversation as like chatting to strangers while out walking, or standing next to one another in a queue somewhere; it doesn’t have to be deep or intimate, it just has to be genuine, pleasant and courteous.

[witchpoetdreamer]

Yes! Exactly that!! The lack of recycled content really makes all the difference! And yes, I was feeling a bit self-conscious at first, still do at times, but for the first time I can post without rehearsing (drafting) what I'm going to say and it feels liberating!

[lb_lee]

Rogan: I feel like there’s a big difference between Internet as entertainment and Internet as relating. I feel like more folks treat the Internet like TV: you watch what’s on, then turn it off and go about your business. And then people get more into that habit and talk less and less, focusing on “approved” things like faving or whatever, which don’t open conversations. And it’s one thing if you don’t WANT those conversations, but if you do, it can be real disheartening!

[witchpoetdreamer]

Absolutely, I totally agree with you! I really don't want to treat the internet like TV, I have a TV already XD I also think a lot of people are avoiding conversations because there's too many bad faith readers out there who love to open up discourse for things that shouldn't even be discourse (I'm thinking mainly things like what-about-me-isms, like someone sharing a recipe and the comments are full of "but I don't like X ingredient" rather than, you know, just scrolling and accepting that this isn't for you XD). That being said, on my actual side of the internet, I don't really come across discourse much, I always know about it second hand. And I *want* those conversations, because I just know that most people are good faith readers and they interact as such, and I'm so glad Dreamwidth has been that so far! (and if I come across bad faith readers, it's also easy to block them so *shrugs*)

[lb_lee]

Rogan: I definitely have parts of the Internet I am a lurker audience for, but part of that is sometimes I’ve been like, “I really like this art!” And gotten a kinda paranoid, unpleasant response back, or made myself into a target for being too obviously weird. I honestly can’t really go to new places on the Internet without a lot of harassment prep and I hate that.

That said, fortunately, most of the time, just having an anon account where I never discuss myself, only “this art is great! Your dog is cute! Can you recommend an art pen?” is a pretty safe way to interact. I can’t really make friends or anything, but that’s okay, being an audience lurker is fine.

[witchpoetdreamer]

Same for the lurking! I tend to be a lurker mostly on Tumblr and Youtube... actually, only on those cause I'm not on other social medias XD

I'm sorry you've been targeted by harassment online. I'm glad you feel comfortable existing here just as you are!

[lb_lee]

Yeah, my RSS feed is a nice little drip of Neat Stuff that I can enjoy at whim, without losing it in the everlasting scroll of feed.

Part of why we love Dreamwidth is that it’s pro-free speech and anti-harassment in a way that makes it easy to defend. I haven’t had much problem here.

[witchpoetdreamer]

That's good! I'm very glad about that!